soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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