Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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