first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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