im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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