She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
