im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
