I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Let's get the cat blown out
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
