Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
