fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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