hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
