i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
