So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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