I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
