I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
