and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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