would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
