2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
