Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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