i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
