She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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