i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
