I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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