just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
