its not stalking. its research.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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