party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I look better un-naked...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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