no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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