"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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