Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
