Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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