just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
