Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
