when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
