he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
