Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
