Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
where are my eyebrows?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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