Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
