so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
