You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
