I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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