I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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