Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
