is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
