i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
