Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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