He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
