i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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