I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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