i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
