yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
