Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
