no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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