You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
