I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
