she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
